And what if in your sleep, you dreamt?
And what if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower?
And what if, when you awake, you had the flower in your hand?
Ah, what then?
—-Coleridge
saw this in jodi's blog^^! can't help but have some thoughts about this. disturbingly, i realise i would feel a comforting sense of relief if i found the flower in my hand^^!
see the picture? yea that is my sanctuary, my safe haven. i would like to built a simple house there and live one day. the peace i feel would be absolute.
maybe we all have a place we call heaven in our heart. some place i really want to go^^! more of a safe sanctuary i guess. somewhere no one can let me feel this sickening feeling called disappointment again. MAYBE^^ i can reach there easily myself, but is that what i really one? getting hurt. being hurt. when there is friendship there is betrayal there is disappointment there is quarrels there is cold war all this results in hurt. even with whatever barrier i have is it good and strong enough? hiding behind smiles and laughter^^ is all the pain and hurt. why torture yourself? oh yea my ans is i build my life trying to see people smile, one line from you break my belief, my dream, calling me naive i am once again lost. u subject me to confusion and hurt. believing that i will in turn betray u, is the greatest impact of all, now i know i am not even considered a friend, a maid maybe, but never once a friend.
why all this? a phone call last night. make me remember all the memories i tried to bury. the hurt and disappointment i felt resurfaced...now i know more about what i knew then. the hurt i feel means a lot more. why am i so shallow and naive i wonder.
friend @ [Anne]
